A WWF Christmas Carol
by Cloudy Magic
Summary: Chris Jericho is encouraged to change his ways int his re-write of 'A Muppet Christmas Carol' Bit of a Smoochy Dreamer fic too.
1. Default Chapter

The WWF Christmas Carol based on 'A Muppet Christmas Carol'  
  
Disclaimer: Of all this, I own a grand total of nothing! (sadly!!) Vince McMahon owns the World Wrestling Federation and everything related to it, the wrestlers own themselves, the late, great, Charles Dickens owns the original Christmas Carol and the Jim Henson Company owns the Muppet Christmas Carol and all the Muppets, and the majority of the lines in this as well.  
  
Dedications: To my best friends Lucy and Tom for not laughing at me (too much) when I was writing this in Science lessons. To Nicola for repeatedly lending me the video of the 'Muppet Christmas Carol'. And finally, to all you authors of Smoochy Dreamer fics who converted me to the dedicated Smoochy Dreamer that I am today. ^-^  
  
Distribution: Please ask first  
  
Character List  
  
The first name is the original character from the Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, followed by the name of the muppet in the same role in the Muppet Christmas Carol by the Jim Henson Company (a * means the character was invented by the 'Muppets' or I'm not sure if it was in the original book) and finally is the name of the wrestler 'playing' that character. (Note: Some of them aren't exactly in character, either of their character from the book or their WWF character. This is because I forgot, or couldn't think of a way to make the WWF character match the Christmas Carol character)  
  
Ebenezer Scrooge: Michael Caine (human) : Chris Jericho  
  
*Charles Dickens (narrator):The Great Gonzo: Jim Ross (J.R.)  
  
*Narrator: Rizzo the Rat: Jerry 'The King' Lawler  
  
Bob Cratchit: Kermit the Frog: Rob Van Dam  
  
Jacob Marley: Statler : Bradshaw (from the APA)  
  
*Robert Marley: Waldorff: Farooq (from the APA)  
  
Ghost Of Christmas Past: CGI : Lita  
  
Ghost Of Christmas Present: Unknown Muppet: Rikishi  
  
Ghost Of Christmas Yet-To-Come: Ominous figure: Undertaker  
  
Fred: (human, name unknown) : Jeff Hardy  
  
*Book-Keeping Staff: Rats: Matt Hardy, Edge, Scotty 2 Hotty, Tajiri  
  
Fezziwig: Fozziwig Bear : Vince McMahon  
  
* Mrs Fezziwig: Mrs Fozziwig Bear :Linda McMahon  
  
Belle: (human, name unknown): Stephanie McMahon  
  
Tiny Tim: Spike Dudley 


	2. A WWF Christmas Carol

THE WWF CHRISTMAS CAROL  
  
(The scene is a busy New York street.. People wearing tinsel and carrying large,gift-wrapped boxes dodge through crowds of stalls covered in gifts and past brightly lit shop windows, all displaying christmassy merchandise. Over the cheerful chaos, two voices are clearly heard. They are coming from two people, seated behind a stall selling red apples. It is Jerry 'The King' Lawler and J.R.)  
  
J.R. : Get your Christmas apples!! Delicious apples!!  
  
Jerry: (munching on an apple in each hand) Get them while they last!  
  
J.R. : (looking at his partner) They won't last long the way you're eating them!!  
  
Jerry: (shrugs) I'm creating scarcity. Drives the prices up.  
  
J.R.: (sighs) King... (he glances towards the audience i.e. us, and grins) Hello!!!! Welcome to The WWF Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story!  
  
Jerry: And I am here for the food and the women!  
  
J.R. : My name is Charles Dickens.  
  
Jerry: And my name is Jerry 'The King' Lawler.....(he pauses) Hey wait a second - you're not Charles Dickens!  
  
J.R. : I am too!  
  
Jerry: No, a short, fat, cowboy hat-wearing Charles Dickens!  
  
J.R. : Absolutely!  
  
Jerry: Charles Dickens was a 19th century novelist - a genius!  
  
J.R. : Oh you are too kind!  
  
Jerry: (looks suspicious) Why should I believe you?  
  
J.R. : Well, because I know the story of the Christmas Carol like the back of my hand.  
  
Jerry: Prove it!  
  
J.R. : Okay.. (holds his hand out to Jerry and closes his eyes) There's a little mole on my thumb and a scar on my little finger from when I fell off my bike -  
  
(Jerry looks confused for a moment, then interrupts)  
  
Jerry: No, no, no, don't tell us your hand, tell us the story!  
  
J.R. : Oh! Oh thank you, yes. (He lowers his voice dramatically) The Marleys were dead to begin with.  
  
Jerry: (looks startled) Oh - uh - pardon me?  
  
J.R. : That's how the story begins King, 'The Marleys were dead to begin with'.  
  
Jerry: Oh!  
  
J.R. : (lowers voice again) As dead as a doornail.  
  
Jerry: That's a good beginning, it's creepy and kinda.....whoo! (he shivers) Spooky!!  
  
J.R. : Why thank you King.  
  
Jerry: You're welcome Mr Dickens. (grins)  
  
J.R. : In life, the Marleys had been business partners with a shrewd money lender named Ebenezer Scrooge who -  
  
Jerry: (appears to think for a moment then interrupts) J.R., that isn't going to work.  
  
J.R. : What do you mean? And it's Charles Dickens!  
  
Jerry: This is the WWF Christmas Carol, not the real one. You're going to have to change some things.  
  
J.R. : (considers it) I think you're right. Okay, so here we go. (lowers voice) The Marleys may not have been dead. but they wanted revenge.  
  
Jerry: (interrupts) J.R. - uh- I mean Mr Dickens - we haven't got any Marleys, they're called -  
  
J.R. : (cuts him off) I know what they're called. But to keep this as close to the original as possible, just humour me okay?  
  
Jerry: (sighs) Oh okay then.  
  
J.R. : (lowers voice) The Marleys wanted revenge on..... Ebenezer Scrooge!! Who will walk around that corner....  
  
Jerry: Where?  
  
J.R. : (points) There.  
  
Jerry: When?  
  
J.R. : .....now!  
  
(Chris Jericho walks around the corner. He is dressed in black and looks very ominous. The Undisputed Championship belts gleam over his shoulders.)  
  
J.R. : There he is.. Ebenezer Scrooge!  
  
(Cold wind blows eerily)  
  
Jerry: (Shivers) Say is it getting cold around here?  
  
(Jericho struts past)  
  
J.R. : Scrooge...an arrogant, solitary, evil....humbug! He likes the cold. It reminds him of how much he has and how he thinks that makes him -  
  
Jerry: (Interrupts scornfully) -a larger than life, 'living legend'.  
  
J.R. : Exactly! And now, our 'living legend' was approaching an arena in New York on this snowy Christmas Eve.  
  
(Jericho pauses at arena door to glare at J.R. and Jerry, who quickly pretend to be selling apples again)  
  
Jericho: Humbug! (He goes through the door)  
  
(J.R. and Jerry quickly follow him. Jericho goes into his dressing room and slams the door. J.R. and Jerry stop underneath the sign saying 'Chris Jericho - Undisputed Champion')  
  
Jerry: Whoo! What an unpleasant fellow!  
  
J.R. : (nods) He is a stuck-up, arrogant, annoying champion, is Scrooge!  
  
(Inside the dressing room, Jericho is sitting on a large leather sofa, sampling some sliced fruit from a large dish beside him. The room is decorated for Christmas and a large fire burns in a fireplace beside where Jericho sits. A smaller door is across the room, with a tiny sign on it which reads: If you need anything, please knock. The door opens slowly, releasing a cold draft of air. R.V.D. nervously peers into Jericho's dressing room.)  
  
R.V.D. : Uh.. Mr Jericho?  
  
Jericho: What do you want?  
  
R.V.D.: Mr McMahon told us to help you with whatever you want...or he'll fire us.  
  
Jericho: (grins) Good old Vince! He's told me I'm allowed to fire whoever I want from the lesser people of the company as his Christmas present to me. I have the notifications right here. (he gestures to a large stack of papers next to him. R.V.D walks over and struggles to pick them up)  
  
Jericho: I want them given out tomorrow.  
  
R.V.D.: (Staggering under weight of papers) But tomorrow is Christmas Day!!  
  
Jericho: (Shrugs) Very Well. (grins) You may gift-wrap them.  
  
R.V.D. : (looks sad) Oh..okay...I guess that's...cool.  
  
(Matt Hardy, Edge, Scotty 2 Hotty and Tajiri come into room from the other dressing room)  
  
Matt,Scotty,Edge,: Hey Rob, let us take those! (They take papers off him and stagger sideways)  
  
Tajiri: (mutters something in Japanese)  
  
Matt: There are a lot! (They stagger the other way, back into their dressing room, and a loud crash is heard. Papers flutter through the door.)  
  
Jericho: So difficult to get good help these days. Surely I deserve better?  
  
(R.V.D seems about to reply, then thinks better of it. Matt, Edge, Scotty and Tajiri sneak back into the room, looking guilty. They whisper to R.V.D. then push him towards Jericho before retreating back into their own small, cold dressing room. They peer hopefully around the door.)  
  
R.V.D : If you please Mr Jericho - its gotten much colder and we only have a tiny fire. We were wondering if we could borrow a shovelful of your coal?  
  
Matt: (from door) Yeah all the pens in here have turned to inksicles! (They all shiver)  
  
Jericho: (Studies plate of fruit) How would you all like to be suddenly...... (looks up) UNEMPLOYED?!!!  
  
(Matt, Edge, Scotty and Tajiri grab Hawaiian grass skirts and dance away singing "This is my island in the sun!! Hoy hoy!!")  
  
R.V.D.: (Sighs) I believe that you've convinced them once again Mr Jericho.  
  
(Jericho grins)  
  
(Back with J.R. and Jerry)  
  
J.R. : At that moment, who should appear but Scrooge's best friend Fred.  
  
Jerry: Jeff.  
  
J.R. : FRED! His only remaining true friend.  
  
Jerry: I don't see any Jeff..uh I mean Fred.  
  
J.R. : Trust me.  
  
(Jeff Hardy runs up to dressing room door and knocks. J.R. and Jerry hide behind some nearby crates)  
  
Jeff: Jericho! You there? (goes in)  
  
Jerry: (sarcastically) You're very good at that, Mr Dickens.  
  
(In dressing room)  
  
Jeff: A Merry Christmas to you Jericho!  
  
Jericho: Merry Christmas? Bah, humbug!!  
  
(outside)  
  
Jerry: Quick, it'll be warmer in there! (He and J.R. run in and sneak into the adjoining dressing room, belonging to Matt, Edge and the others)  
  
Jeff: Christmas a humbug? You don't mean that surely?!  
  
Jerry: (whispering) Actually I think it's colder in here than outside! (JR nods in agreement)  
  
Jericho: Merry Christmas you say? What right have you to be merry? You've had a terrible last few weeks!  
  
Jeff: What right have you to be dismal? You've had a wonderful last few weeks!  
  
Jerry: (grinning) He's got him there! The old boy's speechless!  
  
Jericho: What have all these little people done to deserve a merry Christmas? If I could have my way, every idiot who goes around with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, would be roasted in his own turkey dressing and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!  
  
Jerry: (shivers) Not quite speechless.  
  
Jeff: (looks disappointed) Oh Chris!  
  
Jericho: Jeff! Keep Christmas in your way, and let me keep it in mine!  
  
Jeff: Chris, I think of Christmas as a loving, honest, charitable time, and although it has never put a penny in my pocket, I believe it HAS done me good, WILL do me good and I say GOD BLESS IT!  
  
(From adjoining dressing rooms, loud yells of enthusiastic agreement are heard)  
  
Jericho: (through open door) And how does one celebrate Christmas on the UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?!  
  
(There is a hasty silence from the next room)  
  
J.R.: Now at this time of year, it is customary for a well-known tag team to come around the dressing rooms of Federation Superstars collecting money for the poor and homeless.  
  
(The Dudley Boys enter, wrapped in tinsel and carrying a bucket filled with money. They are uncharacteristically cheerful)  
  
BuhBuh: Merry Christmas Jericho!  
  
Jericho: What do you want?  
  
BuhBuh: It's our traditional donation collecting! To help the homeless - you can't have forgotten!  
  
Jeff: (grinning) Ah welcome! Jericho was just telling me how generous he is feeling today.  
  
Jericho (growling) Jeff!  
  
BuhBuh: Excellent! (Holds bucket out expectantly)  
  
(Jericho stares at it distastefully)  
  
D'Von: Well?  
  
Jericho: For the homeless you say?  
  
BuhBuh: Yes.......  
  
Jericho: Have the prisons been closed?  
  
D'Von: What do you mean?  
  
Jericho: My taxes pay for the prisons and all the other homeless support programs - and frankly I don't see why I should pay yet more money to support idle people. They don't deserve the money of the Undisputed Champion.  
  
BuhBuh: (looks shocked) But there are people dying out there!!  
  
Jericho: (shrugs) Well then, they had better die and decrease the surplus population!  
  
(The Dudleys and Jeff stare at him, horrified)  
  
Jericho: What?  
  
Jeff: (shaking his head) I can't believe you lately Jericho. But still, you are my friend, so will you come to Christmas Dinner with me, Lita and Matt tomorrow? Matt apologised for what he's done over the last few weeks so this is kind of our making up dinner, but I don't trust us not to start arguing. If you came you could help stop us getting into a fight. You'd be doing me a favour. (looks hopeful)  
  
Jericho: Why ever did Matt apologise? All he was doing was moving on with his career.  
  
Jeff: (looks hurt) Since you feel like that, I'd better leave. The invitation still stands if you change your attitude though. (he turns to leave) Oh wait a second, I haven't made my donation yet. (pulls a $20 note out his pocket and drops it in the bucket)  
  
BuhBuh: Thanks Jeff! (glares at Jericho) I guess we'll leave then.  
  
Jericho: You do that! (Takes a piece of fruit and examines it)  
  
BuhBuh: (sarcastically) Have a nice day! (The Dudleys and Jeff leave)  
  
Jericho: Humbug!!  
  
~  
  
(Several hours later. Jericho is preparing to leave the arena for his hotel. R.V.D. is standing nervously by the door.)  
  
Jericho: (getting up and pulling on his coat) I'll see you tomorrow, 8am.  
  
(Matt, Edge, Scotty and Tajiri gather round Rob, whispering urgently. Rob nods and bits his lip as he looks at Jericho)  
  
RVD: But tomorrow is Christmas!  
  
Jericho: 8:30 then.  
  
RVD: Uh.... but it isn't customary to have only have an hour off Sir.  
  
Jericho: (scowling) So how much time is customary?  
  
RVD: Um.. the whole day?  
  
(Matt, edge, Scotty and Tajiri nod enthusiastically)  
  
Jericho: Really? The whole day?  
  
(Matt, Edge, Scotty and Tajiri quickly back away, shaking their heads and muttering Nah, it was Rob's idea)  
  
Jericho: It's a poor excuse for skiving off December 25th. But fine. Take the day off.  
  
(RVD, Matt, Edge, Tajiri and Scotty instantly cheer loudly)  
  
Jericho: Stop that! (They quickly stop, but when Jericho leaves, they start cheering again)  
  
~  
  
(Snow is falling. Jericho gets out his limo and stalks up a flight of steps towards the hotel entrance . The hotel itself is on the edge of a large park and is surrounded by trees. JR and Jerry are sitting in a tinsel decorated pony carriage at the bottom of the steps.)  
  
J.R.: Mr McMahon had been surprised when Jericho told him he didn't want to go home for Christmas, but had decided to find the best house possible to rent for Jericho to stay in.  
  
Jerry: (eating jellybeans from a large pack) Jelly bean?  
  
J.R.: Not while I'm working!  
  
Jerry: Please yourself. (continues eating)  
  
J.R.: The house was the best, and most expensive around, but it was large and empty of people except Scrooge. Now once again, I must ask you to remember, the Marleys wanted revenge, and were prepared to get it by any means necessary.  
  
Jerry: Spooky!  
  
J.R.: (whispers) You must remember that. Otherwise nothing that follows will seem wondrous.  
  
Jerry: Why are you whispering?  
  
J.R.: It's for dramatic emphasis.  
  
Jerry: Ooohh!!  
  
J.R.: Ssshhh!  
  
(Jericho pauses outside heavy oak doors of the house. He reaches for the door handle, then hesitates, staring at the large, ornate door knocker. Slowly, the knocker reforms into a face with stares unblinkingly at Jericho)  
  
Jericho: (in a disbelieving whisper) Bradshaw?  
  
DoorKnocker: SSSSSCCCCCCRRRRRRROOOOOGGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Jericho trips backwards down the steps with a yell of fear. The horse pulling JR and Jerry's carriage rears with a loud neigh of fright at the wailing from the door knocker. JR and Jerry are tipped out onto the snowy grass and the horse gallops away. A cold wind blows as the door knocker's voice fades)  
  
(Jerry sits up and looks down at JR)  
  
Jerry: You okay?  
  
(Jericho gets up and walks cautiously back up the steps, peering closely at the door knocker which is once again a normal door knocker. He shrugs)  
  
Jericho: Humbug! (He goes into the house)  
  
(Jerry shakes JR worriedly)  
  
Jerry: J.R., speak to me! I mean Mr Dickens! Charlie! Are you hurt?  
  
J.R.: (sits up and continues talking) To say that Scrooge was not startled would be untrue. Still, the moment had passed and the world was as it should be again.  
  
Jerry: (shrugs) He ain't hurt. Didn't even break his concentration.  
  
J.R.: What?  
  
Jerry: Nothing.  
  
(They stand up and walk up to the front door)  
  
J.R.: The incident at the door had unnerved Scrooge and before he got ready for bed, he searched every room.  
  
Jerry: (looks sceptical) Okay how do you know what he's doing when he's up there and we're down here?  
  
J.R.: I keep telling you, story tellers are omniscient. I know everything.  
  
Jerry: Hoity-toity Mr Godlike Smartypants. (JR glares at him and Jerry grins)  
  
J.R.: To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to turn on all the lights. (They look upwards and the window above their heads lights up as if on cue)  
  
Jerry: How does he do that?  
  
(The scene switches to Jericho, searching a room. A shadow catches his eye and he grabs it and throws it to the floor kicking it before he realises it is only a coat)  
  
~  
  
(Later, Jericho is sitting by a roaring fire in sweat pants and a T-shirt. He is reading a book. A bell hanging above the fire jingles softly. He doesn't notice. But seconds later, it begins to ring madly, swinging back and forth. Jericho glances up, confused. Throughout the rest of the house, other bells are heard ringing too)  
  
Jericho: What's going on?  
  
(The fire goes out in a puff of smoke. The room is lit with a pale, almost watery light. The clanking of chains is heard  
  
With loud laughter, Bradshaw and Farooq suddenly explode out of nowhere in front of Jericho, glowing a translucent bluey-white. They are smoking cigars and drinking beer. In one hand, Bradshaw holds a deck of cards. Farooq carries a huge, thick chain.)  
  
Bradshaw: Why look!! It's Chris Jericho!!  
  
Farooq: Looking meaner and more arrogant than ever!  
  
Bradshaw: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us! (They laugh loudly)  
  
Jericho: (looking scared and confused) Who are you?  
  
Bradshaw: I'm deeply deeply hurt Jericho! Surely you recognise us? We're the APA!  
  
Jericho: (looking suspicious) It looks like you. But I don't believe it.  
  
Farroq: Do you doubt your eyes and ears?  
  
Jericho: (starting to get angry) It's not a case of me doubting my own senses, but as anyone who has overindulged in a late-night feast knows only too well, so many little things can affect you. You may just be a bit of undigested beef in my sandwich, or a bit of cheese - or the muffin I had for afters! There's more of gravy than of grave about you!  
  
(Bradshaw and Farroq burst out laughing. Bradshaw drops his pack of cards he is laughing so hard and they scatter across the floor)  
  
Bradshaw: (Between laughs) More of gravy than of grave?  
  
Farroq: Damn man, what a terrible pun! Where do you get them Jericho?  
  
Jericho: Don't criticise me! (angrily) You always criticise me!  
  
Bradshaw: We're always heckling you!  
  
Farooq: It's good to be heckling again!  
  
Bradshaw: It's even better to be heckling Jericho again! (They laugh)  
  
Jericho: (afraid) Why do you come here?  
  
Bradshaw: (looking serious for the first time) We have come to warn you Jericho!  
  
Farroq: Yeah, your ways have become too selfish! Damn man, you so arrogant I'm surprised your head fits through the door!  
  
Bradshaw: See this chain Jericho? (Farroq holds up chain) This is the chain you are forging for yourself through your selfish ways. See how heavy it is!(Farooq throws chain around Jericho's shoulders. Jericho staggers under the weight.)  
  
Farooq: If you do not change your ways Jericho you will wear the weight of that chain forever! As much as we would like to see you suffer.....  
  
Bradshaw: You have a chance for salvation! Tonight you will be haunted by three ghosts!  
  
Jericho: (still staggering) Guys please! This is one hell of a joke, but I'm supposed to believe in ghosts?  
  
Bradshaw: Without their visits there is no hope for you! Expect the first ghost, when the clock strikes 12!!  
  
(They disappear in a puff of smoke, and the fire instantly relights. The room which had gone freezing, warms up again. The chain around Jericho's shoulders also fades, much to his relief, as do the cards that Bradshaw dropped)  
  
Jericho: Humbug!  
  
(outside)  
  
J.R.: And so the APA -uh I mean the Marleys - vanished, leaving Scrooge alone once more.  
  
Jerry: Hey this is scary stuff. Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?  
  
J.R.: Nah - this is culture.  
  
Jerry: Ah. Sure you don't want a jelly bean?  
  
J.R.: (sighs)  
  
Jerry: What?  
  
J.R.: Never mind. Here can you give me a leg up this tree?  
  
Jerry: Why?  
  
J.R.: You want to see what's going on don't you? This tree is right outside Scrooge's bedroom. We can see through the window.  
  
(They climb tree with great difficulty, and sit on a branch opposite the window. Inside Jericho is asleep in a four poster bed, a single lamp still on a table nearby casting a pool of yellow light)  
  
J.R.: (lowers voice) So Scrooge fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
Jerry: A guy could cause some serious damage to himself falling outta this tree.  
  
J.R.: Look, this is the only way to see what's going on! Sssh.....it's almost midnight!  
  
(In the distance a clock strikes 12. Jericho jerks awake as the lamp goes out)  
  
(JR stands up on the branch and waves his arms dramatically)  
  
J.R.: Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls TWELVE!!! (His voice echoes dramatically, and as the echoes begin to die, the window blazes with a sudden bright, white light. Jericho sits up with a gasp and Jerry nearly falls out of the tree. JR grabs his arm and pulls him back onto the branch.  
  
Jericho has closed his eyes, but now he cautiously opens one eye, squinting against the bright light. Slowly, the light gathers into one point, and reforms into Lita, wearing a flowing white dress and a crown of tiny white flowers. She is very pale, and her feet are bare)  
  
Jericho: (looks shocked) Lita??  
  
Lita: (shaking her head) No.  
  
Jericho: (frowning) Are you the spirit whose coming was told to me?  
  
Lita: Yes. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.  
  
Jericho: What business has brought you here?  
  
Lita: Your welfare.  
  
Jericho: Hah, a night's unbroken sleep might aid my welfare!  
  
Lita: Your salvation then. Take heed. Come. (She looks and window and it opens. She holds out her hand to Jericho and only then does he realise she is floating several inches above the ground)  
  
Jericho: (looks worried) I beg you spirit, I am mortal - liable to fall.  
  
Lita: A touch of my hand and you shall fly.  
  
(Warily, Jericho takes her hand and they walk towards the window. Outside, JR is swinging a rope around his head)  
  
Jerry: What are you doing?  
  
J.R.: Nothing.  
  
(Jericho and the Spirit fly out window and JR throws the rope so it catches around Jericho's foot)  
  
Jerry: JR.......... what are you doing?  
  
J.R. : Just hold on.  
  
(They hold onto the rope and Jerry yells as they are dragged out of the tree and into the air. They swing beneath Lita and Jericho as they fly over New York. The sky in front of them is glowing white)  
  
J.R.: Hello New York!  
  
Jerry: (groaning) Goodbye lunch!  
  
Jericho: Spirit?  
  
Lita: Yes?  
  
Jericho: What's that light? It's too early for dawn.  
  
Lita: It is the past.  
  
(They fly into light and reappear above a forest. JR and Jerry skim the treetops before they all land in the snowy courtyard of a school. Children are running around, yelling and laughing cheerfully. The school windows are decorated with childishly made snowflakes and Christmas trees.)  
  
J.R.: And so they arrived in Scrooge's childhood.  
  
Jerry: (puts his head in his hands) That was the worst trip of my life!  
  
Lita: Do you remember this place?  
  
Jericho: Yes.....yes I do! It's my old boarding school....  
  
(Jericho is watching the children playing. He is surprised to recognise some of them)  
  
Jericho: There's Jeff! And Matt!! Hey isn't that Rock? Rock! Hey!! Over here!  
  
Lita: These are but shadows of the past. They cannot hear you. Just watch.  
  
(A small boy with bright purple hair streaked with blond, and a dark haired boy with chocolate brown eyes are having a snowball fight nearby. A slightly taller boy with dark blond hair and a big nose pushes the purple- haired boy over.)  
  
Jericho: (rolling his eyes) Well Triple Nose never changes. Always picking on people smaller than him.  
  
(A short boy with long blond hair and blue eyes comes running over to push the young Triple H away from the Hardys. He stands in front of them, fists raised.)  
  
Lita: (softly) You always did look out for people who were being bullied Jericho. Even though it sometimes got you in trouble.  
  
Jericho: (laughs wistfully) Sometimes? I lost count of the times I got in trouble for fighting - although it wasn't usually with Triple H. Mostly I fought with -  
  
(Another boy walks over to Jericho and pushes him out the way. The new boy has short dark brown hair and blue eyes)  
  
Jericho: - Benoit. (he grins) Those were great times.  
  
Lita: (looking at him) Were they always great? Let us see another Christmas at this place.  
  
Jericho: (shrugs) They were pretty much all the same. Nothing ever changed.  
  
Lita: You changed.  
  
~  
  
(The scene blurs, then comes back into focus, but it is different. The snow is gone and instead, rain is falling in dismal grey sheets. All the children are gone except the young Jericho, who is sitting on a bench, tears streaming down his face)  
  
J.R.: Aawwww.........  
  
Lita: Why does the boy look so sad Jericho?  
  
(Jericho does not reply. He is staring at his younger self sadly)  
  
Lita: This boy cries because his father abandoned him yes?  
  
Jericho: (shakes his head in denial) Dad didn't abandon me..... he was just so busy...touring and playing in his hockey games. I understand that now.  
  
Lita: But back then you didn't...you believed he didn't care and had abandoned you.  
  
Jericho: (sighing) I guess I did.  
  
  
  
Jerry: (sniffs and rubs his eyes) That is so sad....  
  
Lita: Come Jericho. We have much to see.  
  
(Once again the scene changes. This time Jericho and the Spirit are standing outside a pair of ornate double doors, in a richly decorated room. Loud music and laughter comes from behind the doors. JR and Jerry hide behind some drapes nearby)  
  
Lita: Do you know where you are?  
  
Jericho: (looking puzzled) No.. should I?  
  
(The Spirit reaches out to touch the doors which swing open. The noise instantly gets very loud. They are looking into a room filled with people in brightly coloured clothes dancing and having fun. Many of the people are very familiar)  
  
Jericho: This is the first Christmas WWF party I went to! It was fantastic!!  
  
(Jerry and JR come in)  
  
Jerry: Food!! (A scantily clad Trish Stratus walks past) And puppies!! JR I've died and gone to heaven!  
  
JR: Ssshh, listen!  
  
(Jericho and the Spirit have walked into the room.)  
  
Jericho: What now?  
  
Lita: Wait.  
  
(Vince McMahon climbs up on the stage and the music stops. He grabs the mic and clears his throat)  
  
Vince: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! At this time in the proceedings, it is traditional for me to make a little speech.  
  
(Bradshaw and Farooq are sitting on the edge of the stage surrounded by empty beers cans and burnt out cigars. They grin at Vince)  
  
Bradshaw: And it's traditional for us to take a little nap!  
  
(The room bursts into laughter. Vince laughs too)  
  
Vince: Here is my Christmas speech! (He pulls a large piece of paper out of his pocket and takes his time unfolding it. Groans ripple around the room. Vince winks at the APA)  
  
Vince: (reading from the paper) Thank you all and a Merry Christmas!  
  
Bradshaw: That was the speech?  
  
Farooq: It was dumb!  
  
Bradshaw: It was obvious!  
  
Farooq: It was pointless!  
  
Bradshaw: It was....short.  
  
(They glance at each other then back at Vince)  
  
Both: I loved it!!  
  
(Everyone laughs again. Linda McMahon comes on stage and drags Vince off to much applause. The McMahons go down to the dance floor and begin dancing.  
  
Through the doors, a younger version of Jericho enters wearing smart clothes. He hesitates on the edge of the room. Vince spots him when he stops dancing and disappears into the crowd for a moment. When he appears again, he is leading Stephanie towards Jericho)  
  
Modern Jericho: Oh...  
  
Lita: Do you remember this meeting?  
  
M. Jericho: Oh yes.. I do indeed.  
  
Vince: Hello Chris, are you enjoying yourself?  
  
Younger Jericho: Of course, this party is amazing Mr McMahon!  
  
Vince: (grinning) I've told you to call me Vince. I want you to meet my daughter Stephanie. I've been telling her so much about you, she couldn't wait to meet you.  
  
(Young Jericho blushes. Stephanie smiles at him and holds out her hand. Y. Jericho shyly shakes it)  
  
Stephanie: (still smiling) Aren't you going to ask me to dance?  
  
Y. Jericho: (shyly) Would you like to dance?  
  
Stephanie: I would like that very much.  
  
(they whirl away into the crowd)  
  
Lita: There was of course another Christmas with this young woman.  
  
Jericho: (shakes his head quickly) Please! Don't show me that Christmas! I do not want to see it!  
  
(The scene fades. It reforms as a snowy park. A young Jericho and Stephanie are walking along the path)  
  
Steph: (looking sad) Another year before our wedding Chris?  
  
Y. Jericho: It can't be helped Steph. I'm so busy with work now right now.... there is no time.  
  
Steph: But you always say that Chris..... Can't you ask for time off? You know Daddy would give you some.  
  
Y. Jericho: But Steph, I'm getting such a big push right now. I can't afford to lose this opportunity. Surely our wedding can wait? (seeing her hurt expression) I love you Steph!  
  
Steph: You did once. (She looks at him sadly) But no more Chris. You love your work. And that god damned WWF title. I can't take second place forever Chris, and that's what I think is going to happen to me if I stay with you.  
  
Y. Jericho: Steph..please.... don't  
  
M. Jericho: Spirit... I don't want to see this!  
  
Lita: But you already have Jericho. This is merely a shadow of your past. It is entirely of your making.  
  
Steph: I love you too Chris, but I can't..... I can't stay with you. (she stands up and wipes her eyes) Goodbye Chris. (she walks away)  
  
Y. Jericho: Steph! Wait..please? (He watches her walk away, but does not go after her. After a long moment, he turns and walks the other way, burying his face in his hands)  
  
(Jerry and JR are sitting on a nearby log. Jerry is crying)  
  
Jerry: That is the saddest thing I've ever seen!  
  
J.R.: Awww...Jerry.. (he hugs him)  
  
Jericho: (wiping his own eyes) Spirit show me no more!  
  
Lita: These are but the shadows of things that have been. there are what they are. Do not blame me!  
  
Jericho: (shouting) Leave me alone!!  
  
(suddenly they are back in Jericho's bedroom. Jericho sits on bed and hide his face, while Jerry and JR watch from the tree outside sympathetically. There is no sign of Lita. After a while, Jericho falls asleep as does Jerry outside on the branch)  
  
  
  
J.R.: And so Scrooge was left alone and miserable in his room, and remained there until the nearby clock, began to strike the hour.  
  
Jerry: (waking up) What time is it?  
  
J.R.: 2 o clock  
  
Jerry: Is it too early for breakfast?  
  
J.R.: (rolls eyes) Yes.  
  
Jerry: (grins) Oh good, supper time.  
  
(JR sighs and turns back to look in the window)  
  
J.R.: Scrooge knew the 2nd ghost was due to appear, but as the clock struck 2....  
  
(a clock strikes 2)  
  
Jericho: (whispering) Nothing!  
  
(Suddenly there is loud music heard from the next room and laughter. Bright light shines under the door. Jericho cautiously gets up and walks over. He slowly puts out a hand to open the door and jumps when a loud, cheerful voice calls)  
  
Voice: Hohohoho!!!  
  
Jericho: (half grinning) Maybe it's Stephanie!  
  
Voice: Come in! And know me better man! (Author's Note: I couldn't decide what the Ghost in the muppets said, but it sounded like this. If it isn't, then, I guess that's tough ^-^)  
  
Jericho: (shrugs) Okay with that voice it isn't Steph. (He cautiously enters and is shocked to see the room is filled with food and tinsel, as well as a huge decorated tree in the corner. It is brightly lit and music is playing through Jericho can't see where it is coming from.  
  
In the centre of the room, on a huge chair sits Rikishi, wearing a red and green velvet robe trimmed with white fur. He is nibbling on a chicken leg and waves at Jericho happily, a huge grin on his face)  
  
Rikishi: Come in! And know me better man!..uh..... did I already say that?  
  
Jericho: (looks warily, wonders if its a trick question) You did, yes.  
  
Rikishi: (laughs) I am the Ghost of Christmas Present! This is the night before the dawn before the day of Christmas! Did I tell you that I am the Ghost of Christmas Present?  
  
Jericho: You did, yes.  
  
Rikishi: (grins even wider) Come in! And know me better man!  
  
Jericho: (beginning to smile a bit) You're a little absent minded Spirit.  
  
Rikishi: No, I'm a LARGE absent-minded Spirit! Hohohoho! My mind is filled with the here and now.. and the now is Christmas! Hohohohohoho!  
  
Jericho: (grinning) I don't believe I've ever met anybody like you. (he remembers it is Rikishi) Well at least not this cheerful anyway.  
  
Rikishi: Really? Over 18 hundred of my brothers have come before me!  
  
Jericho: (surprised) 18 hundred! Imagine the grocery bills!  
  
(they both laugh)  
  
Rikishi: Have you ever noticed that all seems wonderful at Christmas?  
  
Jericho: (looks a bit sad) In all honestly Spirit.. no. We never had a proper family Christmas... and now I'm Undisputed Champion..... I guess I just don't understand Christmas.  
  
Rikishi: Before this night is done, you will!  
  
(Rikishi opens the window. JR and Jerry were leaning forward to see better and are knocked completely off the branch. They plummet to the ground and land in a large snowdrift)  
  
Rikishi: Ah! We shall go out into the world!  
  
(on the ground. JR and Jerry are sitting in the snowdrift. JR is laughing.)  
  
Jerry: (glaring) I suppose you enjoyed that?  
  
J.R.: (shrugs, still grinning) Of course!  
  
Jerry: Ggrrr.....  
  
(Jericho and the Spirit fade and reappear on a snowy street. JR and Jerry reappear with them)  
  
Rikishi: May I welcome you to Christmas morning?!  
  
(children run past shouting and laughing. People are walking along cheerfully calling Merry Christmas to other people. Snowballs are flying all over the street)  
  
Jericho: (looking wistfully around him) It's beautiful. But I don't know how to join in.  
  
Rikishi: It's easy! Just tell people Merry Christmas!  
  
Jericho: (uncertain) Really?  
  
Rikishi: Of course!  
  
Jericho: (looking round) Okay.... (he waves at a women with small children) Merry Christmas!!  
  
(She smiles radiantly back and waves.)  
  
Women: Merry Christmas!!  
  
Rikishi: See? Was that so hard?  
  
Jericho: (shaking his head) No.. I guess not.  
  
Rikishi: Christmas is such a beautiful time! But do you know it isn't only in December that you find Christmas?  
  
Jericho: (frowning) What do you mean? Christmas is December 25th!  
  
Rikishi: Oh no! Christmas is there all year round - because whenever you find love, it feels like Christmas! (he smiles at a couple walking along arm in arm)  
  
Jericho: Oh..... but I have no one to love me. (sadly)  
  
Rikishi: But you do! Your friends love you very much - it is just you turn them away.  
  
Jericho: (frowns for a moment, then looks determined) Spirit I want to see my friends!  
  
Rikishi: Of course!  
  
J.R.: Do you think Scrooge is beginning to see?  
  
Jerry: Possibly....  
  
(They all fade from the street. They reappear in a large, brightly decorated room. By a roaring fire, Vince, Linda, Stephanie, Shane and several wrestlers, Rock, Stone Cold, Undertaker, Kane and Triple H are sitting)  
  
Vince: So we've had the food, the drink and watched the football. What now?  
  
Linda: Lets play some games! It isn't Christmas without games!  
  
Everyone: Yeah!  
  
Vince: Can I pick one?  
  
Everyone: Okay  
  
Vince: Okay, I pick yes and no. I'm thinking of something, and you have to question me. But I can only answer yes or no.  
  
Jericho: Oh spirit I love this game!  
  
Rikishi: Me too! Although I love all games!  
  
(JR and Jerry are hiding behind a table. Jerry suddenly realises what's on the table)  
  
Jerry: Fruit!  
  
J.R.: (sighs as he watches Jerry eat) Do you know that fruit is wax?  
  
Jerry: (pulls a face) I wonder about the texture...... yuk! (spits the fruit out)  
  
Vince: Okay, start guessing!  
  
Rock: Strudel?  
  
Vince: Nope!  
  
Shane: A vegetable?  
  
Vince: Nope!  
  
Jericho: Wait! I want to guess! A mineral? (nobody hears him)  
  
Linda: A mineral? (Jericho glares at her)  
  
Jericho: I said that!  
  
Vince: Nope!  
  
Linda: Which means it must be an animal!  
  
Vince: (grinning) Yes!  
  
Undertaker: A Rottweiler?  
  
Vince: Nope!  
  
Kane: ggrrr........  
  
Stone Cold: (looks confused) What?  
  
Taker: He said is it an alligator?  
  
Vince: Nope!  
  
Rock: hmmmmmm... is it an unpleasant animal?  
  
Vince: yes!  
  
Jericho: A skunk? (once again no one hears him)  
  
Linda: Is it human?  
  
Vince: Yes!!  
  
(Stephanie has been sitting silently, listening. Now she looks up, unsmiling)  
  
Steph: Is it Chris Jericho?  
  
Vince: Correct!  
  
(Everyone except Stephanie bursts out laughing. Stephanie smiles, but she looks sad. Jericho is just staring at them, stunned)  
  
Rikishi: (softly) Come Scrooge.. we have much to see.  
  
Jericho: (swallowing) I wish to see no more!!  
  
(They all fade anyway and reappear outside a large house.)  
  
Rikishi: This is Matt Hardy's house.  
  
Jerry: (standing by open kitchen window) They're cooking goose in there!!! (sniffs)  
  
J.R.: King... get out the way! (leans forward to see inside)  
  
Jericho: This is Matt Hardy's house?  
  
Rikishi: (surprised) How did you know that?!  
  
Jericho: You just told me!  
  
Rikishi: Hmm.. well I'm usually reliable.  
  
(inside)  
  
(Lita is sitting opposite Matt, watching him cautiously. Jeff is cooking in the kitchen while keeping a cautious eye on them through the door.)  
  
Matt: How's the goose doing Jeff?  
  
Jeff: (laughing) It's doing good.. I think. Of course this is me doing the cooking so it could be on fire or anything and I'd still think it was good!  
  
Matt: (rolls his eyes) Don't make me come in there Jeff.......  
  
Jeff: I wouldn't do that! You'd stop me eating the cake!  
  
Matt: You're eating the cake! (leaps up and runs in the kitchen)  
  
Jeff: Made you run!  
  
(Lita laughs from the front room and both Hardys laugh from the kitchen. The doorbell rings)  
  
Lita: That'll be Rob and Spike! I'll get it!  
  
(outside)  
  
Jerry: That smells wonderful....... I'm starving! (pushes window open and tries to climb in but gets stuck half way)  
  
J.R.: Oh good grief!  
  
Jerry: Help, I'm stuck! Get me out!  
  
J.R.: I knew you weren't suited for literature.  
  
(inside)  
  
(Lita leads Rob and Spike into the kitchen. Jeff is stealing the roasted chestnuts)  
  
Matt: Jeff! If you don't stop stealing the chestnuts you don't get any cake!  
  
Jeff: (grins) I'm sampling my cooking! Chef's licence!  
  
Rob: (groaning with mock horror) Jeff's cooking? Why did I accept the invitation?  
  
(Jeff raises his rolling pin threateningly and the others run into the front room laughing)  
  
(JR sneaks in through the open front door and goes down to the kitchen where Jerry is still stuck in the window. JR pulls him in and they both fall down)  
  
J.R.: (sighs) I knew I should have worked solo on this one.  
  
Jeff: Hey guys is it snowing yet?  
  
Rob: (grinning) Look outside!  
  
(Jeff yells with joy when he sees the snow falling outside and runs out the open door. Matt chases after him)  
  
Matt: Jeff! The goose!  
  
(Everyone else laughs. Jericho and Rikishi come in the open door and stand to one side. Jericho is looking at Spike with a guilty look on his face)  
  
Rikishi: What's the matter?  
  
Jericho: Um.... nothing.  
  
(They watch the Hardys, Rob and Spike sit down at the table to eat the food. Jeff raises his glass)  
  
Jeff: To Chris jericho - our Undisputed Champion!  
  
(Everyone stares at him)  
  
Jeff: What?  
  
Matt: I wish he was here! I'd give him a piece of my mind to feast on! How dare he act so selfish and stuck-up just because he managed to win the title, which he didn't do alone I might add!!  
  
Jeff: Matt...it's Christmas.  
  
Matt: It would have to be Christmas before I toast to the health of someone as selfish, -  
  
Rob: Annoying  
  
Matt: Arrogant  
  
Lita (grinning mischievously) And badly dressed!  
  
(They stare at her)  
  
Lita: What? He is!  
  
(Spike suddenly sighs loudly)  
  
Jeff: (looking concerned) What's the matter Spike? You've been quite ever since you got here.  
  
(Jericho looks worried)  
  
Spike: I guess it's because of a little Christmas present I got off Mr Jericho this morning. (He pulls a piece of paper out his pocket and drops it on the table. Matt picks it up)  
  
Matt: He FIRED you????!!! (looks shocked)  
  
(Jr and Jerry are watching from the kitchen. JR gasps)  
  
J.R.: He fired Spike?  
  
RVD: Oh no.. I knew he was firing people.. but I didn't know who. Oh Spike I'm so sorry.  
  
Spike: (tries to smile) It's okay Rob. It wasn't your fault. I guess I'll just have to go back to being a teacher again huh?  
  
(They all stare at him sympathetically. He shrugs and picks up his glass)  
  
Spike: Well I'm not toasting to Jericho. A toast to....... to us!  
  
The others: To us!!  
  
Spike: God bless us, every one!  
  
(Jericho swallows and looks away. Rikishi is looking at him. Rikishi's hair now has streaks of grey in it, and he looks older)  
  
Jericho: Spirit.. tell me. Is it possible for me to take back what I did to Spike?  
  
Rikishi: That is the future.. my realm is the present. However I see a WWF without him....and a more empty and heartless WWF it is.  
  
Jericho: (looks devastated) But I didn't mean.. I didn't think.....  
  
Rikishi: Come, my time grows short.  
  
(They fade and reappear in a graveyard. Rikishi's hair is now white and his face is wrinkled)  
  
Jericho: Spirit...... do you grow old?  
  
Rikishi: My time on this Earth is very brief! I believe it will end on the stroke of 12.  
  
(The Church bell tolls)  
  
Jericho: But I've learned so much from you! Do you have to go?  
  
(JR and Jerry are in the church tower. Jerry is energetically ringing the bell)  
  
J.R.: Nothing Scrooge could do or say could stop the relentless tolling of that bell.  
  
Rikishi: I must leave and leave you with the Ghost of Christmas Future.  
  
Jericho: Must I?  
  
Rikishi: (fading) Go forth, and know him better man! Hohoho ..ho...ho............  
  
(His cheerful laughter fades away as he does. Jericho turns and walks through the graveyard, glancing around afraid. A mist blows up and out of it suddenly looms an ominous figure. It is the Undertaker, dressed in a black cowl. He is unsmiling. Jericho almost walks into him then gasps when he sees who it is. )  
  
Jericho: Am..am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?  
  
(The Undertaker nods)  
  
Jericho: Spirit, I fear you more than any ghost I have previously met!  
  
(JR and Jerry hide behind the church door. Jerry shivers)  
  
Jerry: This is too scary.. I don't think I want to see anymore.  
  
J.R.: You're right. You're on your own folks. We'll meet you at the finale. (They disappear)  
  
Jericho: I am prepared to follow you.. and to learn as much as I can. (frowns) Will you not speak to me?  
  
(The Undertaker just points to a place where the air has swirled into a large black portal. They walk into it and re-emerge in a snowy street. Rock, Stone Cold, Triple H, Trish and Chris Benoit are standing in a group talking)  
  
Stone Cold: The devil got one of his own last night.  
  
Rock: So the Rock hears.  
  
Trish: I thought he was too mean to die!  
  
Triple H: (shrugs) No one knows why. He didn't have any friends.  
  
Benoit: (grins) It's likely to be a very cheap funeral. I don't know of anyone who would go unless there was free champagne thrown in!  
  
(They all walk away, laughing)  
  
Jericho: (watches anxiously) Of what poor man do they speak?  
  
(The Undertaker merely points down the street.. Jericho turns and sees Vince and Linda walking towards them)  
  
Vince: (sighs) Thank god he's gone.  
  
Linda: Vince! That's not a nice thing to say, even about him.  
  
Vince: Are you honestly telling me that you'll miss him?  
  
Linda: (thinks hard) I want to say yes...... but there is nothing I can think of that I'll miss at all.  
  
Vince: See? Let's go celebrate with everyone else!  
  
(They walk away)  
  
Jericho: Spirit I see... the case of this poor man may be my own.... my life is heading that way now. But Spirit.... let me see tenderness connected with a death...please.  
  
(The Undertaker points to a door and suddenly they are standing outside Matt's house. Jericho smiles)  
  
Jericho: Matt's house! A happy place! Thank you for bringing me here Spirit! But......... why is it so quiet?  
  
(The Undertaker points to the open door. Jericho walks in slowly. Lita is sitting on the couch crying. Matt has his arms around her. Jeff is leaning against the door frame, face pale. RVD is standing by the fire, shredding a tissue)  
  
RVD: I can't believe....... I can't believe he's gone.  
  
Lita: (she looks up, angry) It was because Jericho (she spits the name out) fired him. He loved the WWF so much........ (Her voice breaks off and she buries her face in Matt's shoulder)  
  
Jeff: We're all going to miss him.......... we all promised to leave flowers in the cemetery every time we get the chance. (He rubs his eyes)  
  
(They continue talking, but Jericho has stopped listening)  
  
Jericho: Oh Spirit...no! Must there be a Christmas that brings this?  
  
Matt: We'll never forget Spike............  
  
Jericho: (looks desperate) Spirit!!!  
  
(They are back in the graveyard again. Lightening forks across the sky and thunder crashes in the distance)  
  
Jericho: (distraught) Why have we come back here? Spirit, I must ask. Who was the man who's death brought so much happiness to all those people?  
  
(The Undertaker points to a tombstone, the name covered in frost and snow. Jericho takes a step towards it then stops)  
  
Jericho: (Desperately) One more question. Are these the shadows of things that will happen, or are they things that only may happen? Can they be changed?  
  
(The Undertaker says nothing, only points again at the tombstone)  
  
Jericho: (scared, but determined) These things CAN be changed! A life can be made right!  
  
(he bends to look at the tombstone, tears in his eyes. Slowly he wipes away the snow)  
  
Jericho: Chris Jericho! No! (tears run down his face as he looks back at the Undertaker.) I promise to honour Christmas! The lessons the ghosts have taught me will not be forgotten!! I will live in the past, the present and the future! I will not shut out the suffering of others! I promise to keep Christmas in my heart, and remember it all the year!! (He stands and runs towards the Undertaker) Spirit, SPEAK TO ME!!  
  
(he is suddenly back in his own room. The Undertaker has disappeared and the dawn light is coming in through the window. Jericho glances around, first shocked, then slowly growing ecstatic)  
  
Jericho: I'm back!  
  
(outside on the tree branch)  
  
J.R.: Yes the blankets were his, the clothes were his, the room was his!  
  
Jerry: Hi folks, we're back!  
  
J.R.: We promised we would be! But the thing that made Jericho happiest of all was that his life lay before him. And it could be changed!  
  
Jerry: You just called him Jericho!  
  
J.R.: That's because he isn't Scrooge any longer!  
  
Jerry: Ah... (sees jericho heading towards window) Do you think it's safe for us to be up here?  
  
J.R.: Jericho is saved. What can happen now?  
  
(Jericho opens the window, knocking them both off the branch. They land in the snowdrift. Jericho calls down to them)  
  
Jericho: What day is it?  
  
Jerry: (muttering to JR) Remind me never to listen to you ever again!  
  
J.R.: (to Jericho) Why, it's Christmas Day!  
  
Jericho: Yes! I haven't missed it! And I'm not even confused about why JR and the King are outside my house sitting in a snowdrift. In fact, could you two do me a favour?  
  
J.R.: Of course!  
  
Jericho: Could you gather every member of the WWF roster at Matt Hardy's house as quickly as possible?  
  
J.R.: Yes, I think so.  
  
Jericho: (delighted) Wonderful! Thank you so much!! Merry Christmas! I'll see you there!  
  
(He disappears back into the room. Jerry glances at JR)  
  
Jerry: He certainly has changed!  
  
J.R.: Isn't it wonderful! Now come on, we've got a job to do.  
  
(They get up and set off to get as many of the WWFer's as possible to Matt Hardy's house to find out what the newly saved Undisputed Champion wanted to say)  
  
~  
  
(Later, at Matt's house. All the wrestlers are gathered, wondering what the hell is going on. JR and Jerry are waiting with anticipation)  
  
J.R.: I can't wait to see the looks on their faces!  
  
(The doorbell rings)  
  
Jerry: That must be him!  
  
(The Rock storms up to the door and yanks it open to reveal Chris Jericho standing on the doorstep, looking smug.)  
  
Rock: Jericho, what in the blue hell are you DOING? It's Christmas DAY!!!  
  
Jericho: I know, but I thought you might want to all gather here and see how great an Undisputed Champion I make!  
  
(There is a stunned silence around the room. JR and Jerry look horrified)  
  
J.R.: What?  
  
Stone Cold: What?  
  
Everyone except Jericho: WHAT???  
  
(Jericho glances around then bursts out laughing)  
  
Jericho: (grinning) I thought not, which is why I organised you all a little surprise instead. Come outside.  
  
(Everyone goes outside looking very confused, then they all gasp as a huge sleigh, heaped high with presents and drawn by eight reindeer comes up the drive. The harness is covered in bells and it jingles as it comes towards them. A man in a Santa suit sits in the driving seat. Next to him is a woman also wearing a Santa suit)  
  
Jericho: (grinning at the looks on their faces) I hired the sleigh, bought the presents, and promised ten years of ass kissing to get Vince and Linda to dress up like Santa and Mrs Santa.  
  
Vince: Hohohoho!  
  
J.R.: (sighing in relief) Jericho had me worried for a second.  
  
Jerry: Me too! I thought I went through all that for nothing!  
  
(JR stares at him, then sighs)  
  
Jericho: Everybody dive in! The presents are all yours! Oh and Dudleyz, c'mere.  
  
(The Dudleyz come over, looking puzzled. Jericho pulls a handful of money out his pocket and puts it in their hands)  
  
Jericho: The donation I forgot to make earlier!  
  
(The Dudleys look stunned. Jericho hugs them, then walks over to Stone Cold who is opening a present. Jericho hesitates, then takes a deep breath.)  
  
Jericho: Stone Cold?  
  
SC: I have to hand it to you Jericho, this is one hell of a surprise!  
  
Jericho: (sighs) This isn't all of it. Here. (He takes the two title belts off his shoulders and puts them on Stone Cold's shoulders)  
  
Jericho: You should have won these. It's only fair.  
  
Stone Cold: (looks speechless for a moment then shakes his head and gives the belts back to Jericho) No jericho, it kills me to say this, but you deserve them.  
  
Jericho: (looks amazed) Are you sure?  
  
SC: Positive! They're yours.  
  
Jericho: Well then, this calls for a celebration. (raises his voice) Okay everybody, inside. Prepare for a major Christmas party!!  
  
(Everyone cheers and runs into the house. JR and Jerry remain outside)  
  
J.R.: And Jericho gave them the best party they ever had!  
  
Jerry: And uh.. what about Spike?  
  
J.R.: (looks sad) Spike Dudley..........(he grins) Who did not die!  
  
Jerry: Aw, isn't that swell!!  
  
J.R.: Jericho took back all the people he had fired and apologised. And ever since it has been said he of all people knows best how to keep Christmas.  
  
Jerry: (looks thoughtful) JR, there's one more thing we haven't finished.  
  
J.R.: What's that?  
  
Jerry: Stephanie.  
  
(JR grins and points inside)  
  
J.R.: Watch.  
  
(Jericho is going around, wishing everyone a merry Christmas when he suddenly bumps into Stephanie who looks at him. Jericho stammers)  
  
Jericho: Uh...Steph..look.....  
  
(She shakes her head and he stops. She glances up and sees a bunch of mistletoe hanging above their heads. With a grin she kisses Jericho)  
  
Jerry: Whoo! Get a room!  
  
J.R.: (laughs) And as Spike Dudley observed -  
  
(Jericho breaks off the kiss and glances towards them.)  
  
Jericho: God bless us -  
  
(They all join in)  
  
All: EVERY ONE!!  
  
(Snow begins to fall gently. JR and Jerry turn to go inside)  
  
Jerry: Nice story Mr Dickens  
  
J.R.: Thank you. If you liked this, you should read the book!  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
